“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” -African Proverb
From a short conversation I had last week, Ann said she couldn’t save money from her earning which I assumed her salary in the same range like I do. I was wondering many possibilities of how could she unable to save some money while I can. The answer probably because I didn’t spend money for unnecessary things.
It was famous to my husband of how
freak I control my self but being considerate for other people. I’m perfectionist but never cared about being the best. I was Ross Mike life compare to Harvey Specter. My life is flat and dull (this is my favorite word recently) but I hate to appear as lack and fail and that’s why I would like to say it self-discipline; I am crazy over it to some extent I’m being too hard on myself.
- I save my money for saving instead of spending it on lesser values like clothes, bags, shoes, or even hang out and eat at restaurant or mall
- Stay weekend to weekend at home instead of going out without necessary reason the kind of training an athlete performs for a game
- Avoid to eat food from my black-list food to lessen my allergic to the point I’d starve rather than eat
- To commute to work for 4 hours where I have no necessary reason to do so
- If I want some particular food/item I will not immediately get it
- I prefer DVD rather than watch movie at cinema
- Pray to God on time and every time
There were/ are times where I feel guilty for going to hang out with a friend and buying little things and eat at restaurant instead of staying and eat at home; or when I want to eat doughnut and everyday I walk through doughnut store but I’ll end up eat doughnut two months later or until someone bought it for me; or when I blame myself for putting work first rather than praying; or if I made mistake, I would be very harsh on myself (at last try to correct it).
I never really feel that everything is so burdensome at one point where I’ll just said that’s tiring. but again I try not to lose control. I hate to admit if I made mistake. Sometimes I wonder, am I being too hard on myself?
Apparently yes I am, but I have no intention on being off guard.