I never really know when the first time I felt I were a grown up woman. But I really do know I grown up as a human being at the age of 25 when I knew what I were doing with my life. But reality showed me I was grown up long before it, as I always consider myself older before my time.
forced to grown up when I knew my mom passed away. Carried a label as mom successor in my family with dad and three little brothers at the age of 14. Considered my young age, I tried my best and juggled and stumbled upon everything in my face which caused me a depressed and failed teenager.
I was grown up when I had my first ‘real’ boyfriend at the age of 15 whose older by 4 years. That thingy little pride of having a college student when I was a highschooler. He taught me the feel being unworthy, being cheated, being exasperated and being drown in my deepest depression.
I was grown up when I decided to wear no undershirts before my uniform or a short skirt to school.
I was grown up when I decided to go to the college only to be closed to my boyfriend. Not a very wise decision, I know, but it was one of the best thing I realize afterwards.
I was grown up when I was stuck my heart on one person and being cheated over and over and over again. I was head over heels on one guy that at that time-If I recoil now-wasn’t worth my time or even my heart.
I was grown up when at the age of 21 I finally reached acceptance stage of grief of my mother loss.
I was grown up when at the age of 25 I finally accepted myself with all my flaw and all my more, able to stand on my own, able to love myself than other, able to be more selfish than selfless, able to live a life on my own ….and without hesitation.
I was grown up every single day every single year every single life.
And I will still grow up.
but I do….