I run into Bri of Design Love Fest blog where recently she shared a moment about her love(life) and I thought I would share…
today we are talking about love languages. have you ever thought about what yours are? how do you show your love? i would definitely say i show mine in actions better than words. i love picking up little gifts for arian, or planning out dates and vacations. i like writing short love notes and leaving them on his desk. or making him dinner. it’s all about actions for me.
with arian, it’s definitely different. he’s a DUDE. he likes to surf, air drum, listen to hardcore music, and talks about motorcycles. while i consider him a creative person, he is definitely not planning out our vacations or unique dates. holidays and birthdays stress him out because he thinks gift giving is overwhelming. i remember all of this stuff used to bug me. i would look at my friend’s husbands who got their wives that coat she’d been wanting, or that bouquet of flowers for no reason, or planned a surprise tropical getaway… it made me feel like arian didn’t love me the same way. (but like someone reminded me today…”comparison is the thief of joy.”) we actually used to fight about it quite a bit. and ladies i am sure you know that if you fight about flowers it definitely takes the sparkle out of the moment when you actually do get them.
but then i started trying to think about it differently. analyzing how he DOES show his love. arian is the best listener. he always takes my side. he is affectionate and loving. he always kisses me goodbye. he always drives when we go somewhere. he makes me coffee every morning. there is a lot of ways that i just wasn’t seeing clearly. which i will fully admit that it’s bratty and traditional for me to think love means flowers and date planning. and once i let that go, i started noticing and appreciating the things he does do and not just feeling resentful for the things he wasn’t.
here are the 5 love languages…which of these are you doing? (girls can sometimes be all of them!)
• WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
• ACTS OF SERVICE
• RECEIVING GIFTS
• QUALITY TIME
• PHYSICAL TOUCH
what form of love do you NEED from a partner? any deal breakers? for me, affection is important. i only tell you guys this because it was an eye opening experience for me to think about HOW we love our partners. in what ways. and maybe there are ways you’re just looking past. …xo -bri
Her words makes me think of what form of love in need from a partner. Judging by thinking a form of love I want is so much easier but hell nobody really match your expectations. I remember my husband asked me the same question once and I stumble upon my words, I couldn’t give him a satisfying answer (I think it was me who didn’t satisfy enough with my own answers). Now I am gonna try to just shot the questions.
How do I express love to my partner? Acts for services. I was no good for affections or words and sometimes I feel I don’t show or talk like I am in love with my partner. I just didn’t grow up with that merits, and those two I definitely something I struggle everyday. While my partner way to express his love for me are those two I most struggle. I am going to think we completed each other.
What do I complain about the most? Physical touch. It would be best if the question were “What do love languages I dread the most?”, gotta admit I dread affections because I didn’t learn to have a memorable one so my hubs was teaching me this and I am getting better but I only do affections with my hubs apart from that I’ll go stilled as a statue if someone try to hug me because I feel very foreign but actually I crave for touch from others. It just now my hubs is the only one I can bear. But I hope someday I can actually let others people in and actually hug me or present me with other love touch.
What do I need most often? Acts for services. I do love spending times with my loved ones or praising each other or giving gift but it is acts for services I love the most. Well, actions speak louder than words in my case. I knew very well that woman do the housework and man do the work though I still love it when my hubs was helping me or dividing some chores with me. I don’t expect him to do all but simple actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing the dishes will make my day.
I tried to take a quiz to classify which one of the love language I strongly possess and the answer was pretty the same with the one I predict. This is my answer and if you want to try out the quiz, here.
I would agree with the love language because it make all feel completed. Every element was there to show different kinds of language to show love. Each person is unique and there’s somewhat the degrees to show love is different too but we do need all elements, right?
Well, what form of love do you NEED from a partner?