Category Archives: Poem

Memories

It’s been sixteen years
Loong and hollow

There’s day it was unbearable

But then there’s day I hardly remember

Mind is like a mesh

Remember certain things 

And forgot others

I was afraid I’d forget

So I have you everywhere

In pictures

in wall

in wallet

in your old book recipe 

In your handwriting

That’s how I keep you alive

By remembering

By baking

By cooking

Because only then I can meet you through memories.

Drilling Holes

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Picture: we heart it

We’ve been running through the same circle.
Circle full of pain. Full of numbness. Full of vain.

I want to curse. I want to scream. I want to shout.
All your bullshit words.
Of live. Of love. Of money. Of everything

We’ve been crying through the unshed tears.
Tears full of misery. Full of disappointment. Full of hurt.

I want to curse. I want to scream. I want to shout.
All your shitty role.
About live. About love. About money. About everything.

We’ve been tortured through all the lies.
Lies full of hatred. Full of disgrace. Full of wrath.

I want to curse. I want to scream. I want to shout.
All your fucking perspective.
About live. About love. About money. About everything.

Unfair

image

One being said
Was different from
One being felt

I was cry for you
I was cry for him
For you to feel the unfairness
That was totally denied
Totally unacceptable
For him to have feel the unfairness
That should name of love
Totally bullshit love

One being said
Was different from
One being felt

I was cry for you
I was cry for him
For you my ache gone deeper
That I didn’t remember mine
Only yours
For him to have drag down
That I have so much bitterness for
Only you

One being said
Was different from
One being felt

I was cry for you
I was cry for him
For you to have gone through all
The bullshit that I have to witness
That crashing down your life
For him to have one undefined
Role that let you be swept by waves
That limiting your life

One being said
Was different from
One being felt.

Unfair

To people who treat me unfairly.
I would keep my mouth shut.
To people who didn’t acknowledge my struggle.
I would keep my mouth shut.
To people who didn’t see my sacrifice.
I would keep my mouth shut.
To people who bitching the way I look.
I would keep my mouth shut.
To people who narrow-minded.
I would keep my mouth shut.
And that’s my friend the reason I never speak to you.
image

.xo.

Tete-a-tete

ph: Hplyrikz.com

after mind-blowing screw so I could knew

what it feels beneath you and what please you

and to where our relation will flew after all the shit I shew

belong to me, I beg you, and I you

Despair

ph: wehearit

I thought you were leaving

I thought you were disappearing

but you were enjoying crawling in every vein

caressing all my pain

Tenggelam

Dari jauh aku pandangi kehidupanmu. Kamu dan motormu, Aprillia Shiver-mu. Kegilaanmu memacu adrenalin membuatku mencintaimu. Membayangkanmu mengendarai motormu nafasku berderu. Aku mau jadi motormu.

Mau gila rasanya tau kamu jatuh dan aku jauh dari sisi mu. Aku mau benahi lukamu, bersihkan sekujur tubuhmu dengan peluhku. Kamu buat aku gila.

Jarak membuat kamu bisu. Menggapai jauh direngkuh nyata. Aku yang tak bisa dimiliki dan kamu yang bukan untuk dimiliki.

Dari jauh aku pandangi kehidupanmu. Kamu dan gadis-gadismu, gadis binal mu. Membuat aku cemburu. Buta. Aku mau kamu. Aku mau menorehkan dosa bersama mu.

Sentuh salam lama dari mu menyayat hatiku. Kalau bisa aku terbang ke dunia mu. Supaya kamu berhenti membuat aku gila. Aku mau menjadi milikmu.

Aku mau kamu hanya mengendarai aku dan menari denganku.

Sampai aku lupa dunia ada. Dan bukan untuk kita berdua.

I forgot.

I forgot we once a lover. A couple years ago, and it wasn’t love at the first sight. We met by a chance, you knock on my room thought you’re my roommate. We weren’t. We never talk, only exchange deep gaze everytime we meet in the hall. A meaningful gaze. It was me try to talk to you first. You were shy, so was i. A few words, a few talks. And then you disappear.

It was an “add friend” on facebook. From you, a shy stranger. I approved. We started to send messages, exchanged msn ids, exchanged skype ids, exchanged phone number. We started with a message, to a chat, to a video call, to a text, to a call. Everything to least the distance. From small talks to secret talks to dirty talks. That’s how we became a lover. A love to each other.

We shared moments and started to draw ‘unseen’ future. Become a spouse, a partner of life, husband and wife, a parent of beautiful children, and grow old together. After you started missing without calling. Without texting. Without skyping. Without nothing to tell. I was worried and I was stupid. I dreamed an end. I dreamed you cheated. Until I found out you just busy, with your work, your friends, yourself. I was devastated. A long distance relationship is not for me. Not for you. Not for us. Require a lot of efforts. Understanding. And trust. I was asking too much for having news everyday and you were doing less. I quit.

Anger was filled you. You gone with no words. Not once asking why. Or struggling to get me back. While I was hoping you were. You just stay there. I was crazy. To live without you. And to live far from you. I was in deep heartbreak. In deep cry.

Yesterday we met (again) by chance in the hall. I was alone. You too. We weren’t talk only exchange gaze. It was you try to talk to me. I was shy, so were you. A few words, a few talks. I tried to recall about you and me; through a gaze. There’s just nothing. Time was up. We stopped and we hugged. A goodbye hug. A hug to forgot.

To forgot about you.

About us.

Sandwich

 Why must embarrassed

When we have nothing to show

Yet to hide

When we are not even a couple

More to stranger who like each other crazily

I imagined we sleep together

The three of us

While playing with our own phone

Speak lovely to our spouse

Telling them how much we miss them

And hoping to return home

…………………….