Category Archives: Uncategorized


I knew you can but

You choose you can not

To me

But you can to others

With no strings attached

To come and go

As you wish

As you filled yours and

You filled hers

I knew you don’t mind

But you do

To me

But you don’t to others

Being a superhero they need

Being there when you are not suppose to

I knew you are willing

But you are not

To me

But you are to others

Listening to thousand of meaningless words

Just because they are lonely

And so are you

And so am I

I feel like a mistake you constantly make


Do People Still Read Blog?

This is the first thing that came to my mind just now when I start opening my blog again, to write. I was wondering do people still read blog. I am sure people still write in blog for any kind of reasons such us a personal journey or a job or else because I sure like to save my personal journey or personal thoughts on blog as a part of sharing information that you might find useful or not.

I’ve been drowning in motherhood so I was having a hard time keeping tabs on people post in my blog. Plus with all the social media hype people find a new outlet to express themselves like though instagram or twitter or any social media (I’m sorry I am not really familiar with other social media except those two). So I was kinda anxious did people still read my blog or other blog and not just click like casually or actually read all the post and click like to appreciate what on the post.

So do you still read blog? and why?

Thank you




 ph: pinterest

If I could live with a tattoo.

I tattoo your name.

What I Learn From Marriage


I was in a 9-long-year relationship with my now-husband and into 4 year marriage. You might think that our early marriage life would be easy because we had that 9 year. But no and no. Though I knew the good and the bad of my husband, living together under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed wasn’t that easy. Took almost a year for me to be ok with the differences. It was all because communication. We tried our damndest to have a very good communication that perhaps satisfy both sides even in real we fight a lot to achieve that. And here we are enjoying our fruit.

XX Talked about a lot of things XX
My husband is someone I can talk about a lot of things. We talked about a lot of things from something small to something big that make us concern. Including how the way we talk to each other to understand each of us better. I am one with no sweet but a wounded soul and my husband is one with too much sweet and a spolied brat. At first it became an issue for each other but now not so much, my husband knew that he need to sweeten his words to speak to me and I need to be real and no sugarcoat words. Why? Because that’s how it works.

XX To Put ourself in each other shoes XX
We often discuss something that will lead to a hot debate. You want your husband to understand you and vice versa. As an example I was dead tired from work and he asked me to do stuff that he might do while waiting for me from office but spent lounging on a sofa. I simply ask him “what would you do if you’re in my shoes?”We often switch our point of view to understand better of each other feeling. So now it was a matter of looking to each other feeling first about something then we discuss.

XX Accept the difference and don’t expect a change XX
My husband and I are completely different but we complement each other. He likes to talk and I loath talking. He’s a social person and I am more of a loner. He’s a mess and I am super neat. He forget a lot and I never forget. So here comes our role. He deals with people and I deal with stuff. And then we don’t try to change each other (unless it is something come from within). Really you can’t change people who don’t like to socializing to actively socializing or to expect people who forgetful to always remember. Human afterall they full of flaws.

XX Don’t let your spouse be your everything XX
Sure, I love my husband and we said to each other that we put ourself first then kid. But no one person can be your everything. No one person should have to be your everything. That’s a hell of a lot to ask. I learnt this from my parents and my mom passed away.

Well, I guess that’s for now. Do you have something you can sharevthat you learn from your marriage?


Why I Didn’t Shop Anymore

Shopping and woman become one individual, I guess, whether you do realize you have money or not. In my country this week is a payday week so when I saw an advertising say “tonight! Late night sale” I was like “here we go again”

As woman most of the times shopping is a must, a best-friend in lonely or happy or sad or any time. I’ve been to late night sale twice or three time, one time for shopping the other two for hanging in a mall that open till midnight. But that one time I didn’t buy anything because I hate the line. No amount of discount will equal to me waiting in a long line. That simple.

I used to be that girl not a woman yet who spend lots and lots of money of things such as bag, shoes, clothes and on. Don’t get me wrong till today I am still a bag and shoes lover. I was in high school and I have more money that my peers have, people won’t notice because I didn’t show them my bank account in their face. Yupe I had enough money that I used to travel to Bali for two person. I love saving money, that’s if you ask where do I get my money, and I worked in family business and off course money from the elders. Never in my life, at that time, I felt sufficient on money. I had more that I can spend on food, clothes, shoes and bags. But then everything changed when I entered college, as you guess perhaps, I live with less money less than what I used to have. Did I regret it? Nope. It gave me a big lesson that make me more wise in shopping.

As I lived with less money I realized I have lots and lots unused clothes, bags and shoes. Some still have price tags some rotten because I neglected them. That moment I realized that I wasted money spent them on something I never truly needed. Years after that I manage to straighten myself and I spent time and effort on donating my clothes, shoes and bags. As per today I still have 8 pairs of shoes (3 for daily, 2 for party, 3 high-heels used to for work) from almost 20 something and 10 bags (2 for daily, 2 belong to mom, 2 clutch, 4 for backpack and diaper bags) from almost 30 something and only one clothes closet shared with husband from I don’t remember how many I donate.

Today if I want to do shopping it is because I need that stuff unless no that means no shopping. And every time I but a new stuff then I’ll make sure I donate one. Sometimes in a weak moment I do emotional shopping you know but then it will leave me in big regret so I do what I gotta do, less and less window online-shopping lol but that’s true and it works most of the times.

So any experience about shopping?


How I Torn Between My Mother Language To English

After all the hibernation I needed I was torn to come back to blog because somehow I tried so damn hard to define myself through my writing. I really miss writing and blogging. But it’s been my dream to write my blog in my mother tongue language: Bahasa Indonesia so I tried to make a new one just for my blog in Bahasa but then it went nowhere because I didn’t channel my mind to words better than I do in English. How frustrating! So I spent a generous amount contemplating to write or not, to publish or not, to post or not on my new blog and it just settle on “Welcome”. As for now, I’ll just continue writing in English?

Any of you have the same experience of writing or expressing yourself better in other language?


I’m experiencing writer’s block as a cause of my distress. Everyday I stare blank on my screen and thinking what I want to write. With result of nothing.

I like writing and I have a lot to write but it just don’t come out into words just pain in my head. I have one this shitty situation that hang in the air and influence my daily life. I’d like to curse the one that make me this way but I can’t. I’m just going to take a break for a while and I hope by the end of this month I’ll be back in good.


I’m Sorry For My Generation

Great post. I reflected a lot in your every word and, yes, synergy is a must for a better future.

Quit or Not To Quit?

These several past months I’ve been fighting with myself over should I quit or not to quit from Facebook. I finally found reasons why I must have to quit Facebook but then I was faced with being social person issues. I loathe Facebook for these reasons:

. It’s become a place for you whining or advising a lot.

. Tag of picture of friend’s of friends picture on friends page which I didn’t know who the hell they were.

. Too many pictures.

. People selling product in their Facebook account and tag pictures of you.

. Twitter is on the trend and Facebook felt like last year.

. You checked on people’s life often.

I was not an active social person so I have no need too many friends to keep. I have weird relationship with friends as we rarely contact each other only when one side in need. Well, I just don’t talk, I write. I was arguing that Facebook was one way to keep my sane as social person so that I’d knew one or two news of friends from their Facebook and that’ll make me stay in a knowing circle but opening Facebook keep bothering me and I don’t feel comfortable to use it.

Should I quit or not to quit?


::credit on the pictures::

Is it odd ……… ?

I’m surprised when I Google a question begin with is it odd……..?  There’s line of questions I found it ridiculous but questioning everything better than not to questioning at all. Absorbed by uniqueness in my bone, I appeared weird to some people like what I encountered this couple of days-weeks.

…..that I went to watch movie in cinema alone? As usual I had different work schedule with my husband. I work on weekdays while my husband mostly work on weekends so I hardly spent weekend together. Last week my husband was away in two consecutive every weekend left myself with a dull weekend. It was long weekend and I had nothing to do-forgave me for loving vampires-Breaking Dawn Pt 2 was release on November 16th and it’s a must-watch movie in my list. I decided to watch in a row with Skyfall that I haven’t watch. I watched Skyfall first and then Breaking Dawn, as I a bit late for Skyfall I didn’t have to feel the weird stares from the people who, I believe, focus more to Daniel Craig than me. Just when I enter the second theater for Breaking Dawn I could feel all those weird stares as I walked up to my chair and the girl next to me had her jaw dropped open when she realized I was a woman and alone. I could only rolled my eyes. Hey girls, I am not weird I am just love being alone!

…..that I less grumble about everything than people around me? So just to know I commuting 3 hours every day by train to go to work (1.30h each trip) I could definitely tell you it’s tiring. Last week, thank you to my beautiful rain city, there’s a slide in train line cause a major shutdown to last 2 stations. It took 6 hours for commuting 2 cities by bus with high traffic and more than that if you add heavy rain-it could took to 8 hours. All I could see in my twitter timeline is people bitching about the worse service of the government esp the train department. This is not the first time the train got worse and when it comes to rainy season everything went worst. Living in a developing country there’s so much you can complain about but I choose to less complain, bitching, grumbling or whatever because I think that’s wasting energy. Traffic, natural disaster, flood can happen anywhere not just in my country so rather than you keep complain for your own comfort, do something and just suck it up.

…..that I found WWE is funny? I never NEVER really like to watch wrestling but my brothers esp my husband like it so much. While I had to bear with it every night I grew interest to wrestling. At first I thought it was real but then I realized it was fake and part of entertaining. I found it how funny at how they get dressed-one night I saw Cena and CM Punk wore pink attire I was like !@#$% they can pick better color-and their fight was like never-ending tug war and the way they scream loudly. I love man with tats who’s hopelessly romantic but not in pink and not in an underwear :D. If it’s for entertain please wear a more fashionable pants-at least.

Have you ever questioning yourself odd?


::credit on the pictures::