Tag Archives: friendship

Birthday Reminder on Facebook

It’s been years since the last time I put my birth day on private on Facebook. It means that only me that can see my birthday. Most of my friends on facebook automatically made their birthday available for their friends to notice. Therefore you’ll see their birthday reminder on your notifications.

I have my reasons though it seems bizarre but well that’s me. I just want to know how many people that really remember me. My facebook friends mostly weren’t people that close to me mostly were just my school friends that I rarely have deep conversation with and harshly let just say we know by name only. I am an introvert that hardly able to make a lot of relationship so I only have some friends that I allow myself to be close with even then doesnot mean I’ll just open up and spring my heart out. I only have a few for the deep.

The first year it was less than 15 people who really remember me. This year as in today only 2 people that remember my birthday which is my brother (the other 2 forget, how dare them!!😈😈 ) and one of my best friend. As time goes by I didn’t really give a damn by how many birthday wishes that I’ve got. But I can not lie that sometimes it hurts because of my imagination of a friendship wasn’t what I dream about. I used to see pictures or watching movies about friendship that they hang out together or having potluck together discussing vary topic in life.

Partly my fault perhaps because I wasn’t open to people or let them see the real me. Or perhaps I just don’t feel right to open up to my friends. Or perhaps twas just my imagination of a friendship. I don’t know. But surely I was tired of having a friendship that only require effort from my side. Or maybe I shouldn’t account on it. I don’t know. I was hoping I get to know more people that let them in and see the real me. People that also make an effort to have a friendship with me.

Tell me about your friendship with your best friend,, just so I have an insight that friendship is real and not just something I read on books or watch on movies.

Btw,, welcome to the big three-o.



In Between Thoughts

ph: safalniveshak

Where’s there’s good there’s bad. There’s dark there’s light. There’s guilty there’s innocent. There’s black there’s white. There’s right there’s wrong. There’s something in between.

I believe in karma. I believe in what goes around comes around. I believe in what you reap is what you sow. and I believe in God, off course.

My past taught me a lot to never judge people of what happen in people’s life or of what they choose on the choice they make. I know there’s good things and bad things. There’s right doings and there’s wrong doings. There’s guilty and there’s innocent. The good and bad things are knowledge. The right and wrong doings are a choice. The guilt and innocent aren’t my place to judge.

People cheat. People corrupt. People lie. People ignorance. People fake. Women prostitute. Men douchebag. Husband abusive. Wife addict. Child broken.

There are times you witness people you love choose to do wrongs and become so bad. There are times you really want to fix them, advice them and even tell them they’re wrong. Everything happens for reasons. Reasons that most of the time we have no clue about it but we act like we knew everything. We didn’t know what happen in other people life that make them choose to do the wrong things. We didn’t. Yet we feel that we can fix them.

To some broken soul no words can make them turn into light but God. But that’s make it not our battle but their battle. No matter how much you want to change people or make stop of people do the wrong it’s not going to flip like a pancake.

You might questions everything. Question reasons of they wrong doing. But don’t judge because you are no God. and you are no saint.

You might see your loved ones fall into darkness. Fall into what they thinks will help them. You just need to stand there with your arm stretch ready for anytime help just in case they want to crawl back into light.

I used to be judged and I know how bitter that felt.  Ever since no matter how dark someone choose and all the wrong doings they act, I don’t do judge. I might admit what they do is wrong but hell that’s not my life. But I am always ready for giving help. I might admit what they do is wrong but that doesn’t mean I’ll do what they do.

I believe everything happen for reasons. Reasons I never knew. Reasons I never experienced.


A Letter To The Man Who Think I Have No Manners

Dear The Man Who Think I Have No Manners,

I barely know you. We just happen to meet everyday in more formal rather than informal occasion. But we rarely talk about everything. I rarely asked about how your life is or your family is because I want to keep it professional and because I don’t bother myself to know your life or judge your life. Of how you spend the whole day doing your stuff. Of how you try hard to be a breadwinner. Of how like you talk about anything unnecessary. I don’t because I am busy enough with my life.

But I knew very well that I am easily intimidated, I was that sheet that turn into fire once it’s kindled. Every time you approach my bureau and try to start conversation with me. Actually, I didn’t really want to but I always try to be nice to you by engulfed in our conversation. and you succeed. To make me talk about everything you want me to talk about except about each others life. I talked in with normal words, normal tone, normal intonation for a normal conversation. I did eye contact. I kept my posture formal but relax. To respect myself and to respect you.

Ever since I moved closer to your bureau, as if I had choice, you started to make more and more conversation I never really want. But I kept my composure and just sucked it up. I had piles of paper and I didn’t have time to look to yours. I seemed ignorance but it just how I tuned out my surrounding because no way I would listen to all people blabbering in the same time about lots of stuff. I wanted to feel some privacy even in packed small place, and that’s how I create privacy for other. I wanted to keep it like that.

Until you started comment everything I did or do. Even worst, it’s not something I did or do to you, man. Did I do something wrong? Did I talk bad with you? Or did I disrespect you? That you have to told me that I have no manners in front of other people.

Excuse me, you’re the one that has no manners. How is it you brazenly jump into my conversation with my inferior and start give what’s good or not to do? How is it I am the one with no manner because of that? How is it you eavesdropping my conversation in the telephone with my best-friend? How is it I am the one with no manner because the choice of words and tone I use to talk with my best-friend? How dare you labeled me as someone with no courteous?

How could you think that you are more civilize that I am? We might be in the same level in the structure but we are definitely different. I never thought that I was even better from you, not even a glimpse in me because I know well that every person in the world is different. That explain a lot more than what your brain can possibly process. There, the way we talk and deal with other people are different. Each person has their own way.

I have my own way to talk with people or deal with people. So what you witness is my way of dealing with people, my way of communicate with people.  If I want to ask my inferior to deliver a letter to lower level instead of myself is my choice, it is my way to deal with people. And If I want to talk with my best-friend with my choice of words my choice of intonation, it’s my way to talk to my best-friend. And why is that you the one who said I have no courteous manner while my best-friend said nothing. Nothing.

So who you are dude that you have a right to commentate the way I deal and talk with people? Don’t try to teach me how to deal or talk with people because I never give a shit about the way you deal or talk to people.

Man, if you have a lot of spare time to observe about how I deal or talk to people. You should do a lot of reflection and if you can’t think any idea how, I’ll help you. I’ll help you buy a huge mirror so that you can look clearly of yourself.

So you to know man, I am not good with words and thus I like being alone and in silence. It’s actually me being nice. Because my best-friends who you think the way I talk to them is in no manners knows me better with what I am dealing.

Dude, you’re a man so behave like one. If you can’t, just get a life! or get laid.



A Wish

Though you don’t remember my birthday. Though you probably remember clearly our promise. Though you might forget me. us. Whatever effing mistake happen between us.

Though I saw you happy now. Though I thought you’re going to be a father now. Though I definitely want to say personal ‘Happy Birthday’ to you. I remember him, remember her, remember us.

Though I look at your Facebook. Though I try to post a ‘Happy Birthday’ and I manage to delete it. Though I have your phone number. Though I try to compose a message and I end up delete it.

Though I want us to remain friend. Though past is past and future is future are hell different thing. Though I want you to at least say ‘Hello’. Though I was being fake when we made promise. To live effing happy and keep our ‘thing‘ in memory only.

I can’t. I can’t just to say you something and ruin everything. My happiness. Your happiness. I can’t keep you now or later. But I can keep us as memories. Beautiful sweet memories. Our beautiful sweet memories.

Maybe I’d like to remove you completely from me. Your Facebook. Your phone number. Your everything. But I know I can’t. I like to keep you as a friend. I want to keep you as a friend.


Happy Birthday, friend!

ph: weheartit

People I Utterly Avoid

There’s a lot of different type of people. Off course. People are different from each other which I agree, which I am. I have this list where I classified people and put them in my mind I wish they’re not exist. But they are. We can’t make people like what we did, do or will do, there will always people the opposite from us. I believe-90% and 10% for every anomalies-the saying “your friends reflect the kind of person you are” is literally. As when you make friends with good people in a good environment and they’ll immediately judge you a good human being.

I am not a picky-but-moody eater but I am an absolute picky-and-moody on making friends. There are people I avoid to make friends with or even just-say-hi friends with. It makes me seems isolated and narrow in my social networking, indeed. I don’t give a shit of having tons of people that named themselves my friends while they don’t behave like one.

1. People who talk behind other people back .

Whoaaa I hate this kind of people around. What so perfect about you so you can talk behind other people back about their mistakes, minuses, flaws and will that guarantee you they won’t talk about you behind your back. Get a better life, please!

2. People who are fake.

People with two faces. People who like to lick other people ass so they can get what they want. People who turn to be a too-sweet-to-toothache attitude in front of people they want to impress on. Or woman who eagerly haul herself to man-with-woman lap. Woman who pretend to be weak but they’re actually strong.

3. People who think he/she is always right.

What are you? A saint? People live through mistakes. People grow through mistakes. People learn through mistakes. Some people happen to make bad mistake or even worse. People have their own way on making the right or wrong decision to get out from their mistake, you can’t just what they do is right or wrong. What suit them maybe just don’t suit you because you can’t do what they can do. I like to make friends with people who’ve been through hell of a ride in their life because they won’t think they are always right.

4. People who judge.

When people always think he/she is always right he/she is always judging that you were wrong and he/she is right. Maybe if you that desperate to judge people as your hobby. Please take law school!

These are just some people I utterly avoid but this is my hard-line for a friendship. Finding a true friend makes me dive through hell of people but it’s worth waited, I met few and keep them close in hearts. I hope I’ll find more genuine friends (better someone with a hard life).


::credit on the picture::

Being Invisible


Have you ever went to a situation where people doesn’t recognize you?

or when people know that you were in the room but they just pretend they’re not?

I have. Often.

It would be friends from kindergarten, elementary, junior high, senior high, college or anyone I met by any chance where most of the time they don’t recognize me. There’s a lot of moments that I’ll sit or stand face to face or side by side with friends and end up in silent. They don’t say hi don’t try to talk to me. I used to be the one who recognize them, try to cope the situation by greet them first. But then they not even hear my greetings, seems like I am whispering.

At first, I’d feel a major hurt because of that. I usually try to say hi first but then they’ll give me who-the-hell-are-you look and after a second they’ll start to recognize me, some not even remember me. My ex, now-husband, always says it’s because how I change physically, better in the eyes for the stereotype of girls. I believe every woman want to be pretty or at least want men tell them they are. I don’t because I can’t differ people appearance; I mean I can’t differ which one is handsome or pretty which one is not. I differ people by appearance to what I feel attractive. Then I realize it wasn’t because how much I change physically but I never kind of easily-remembered type of person. I am typically suffer in silent. I don’t easily laugh to jokes more over cheesy and stupid jokes, I don’t like being in center of attention especially an object for jokes that usually happen in youth ages. It doesn’t mean I don’t like jokes, I do, but my jokes are explicit and some body jokes because I am a visual. I like being the watcher, the listener, the silent in a group of bunch people. I just don’t fit in some society. I don’t like talk, empty talk. I don’t like doing somethings just in order to meet people expectations.

As human, a social being I couldn’t resist the reality; there will be times where I’ll sit or stand face to face or side by side again with my friends and end up in silent. But I no longer say hi first to them. And I don’t have that need to greet them. Even sometimes If they recognize me, I just hope they don’t. Or I pretend I don’t see them. I no longer have that hurt because I accept who I am; I grateful I meet friends where I feel safe and comfortable to be with. Best-friends I treasure deeply.

Now I enjoy being invisible.

are you?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Mine

Theme: Mine.

Is there a place, object, or view that’s entirely yours, or you’re a bit selfish or possessive about? Is it a feeling you feel when you look at the photo, or perhaps an unwillingness to share?

The theme seems easy but I found it very very very hard. But finally look through old pictures and find this. Mine.

Their friendship will always be mine

It took me a while to define mine. I think friendship is the biggest selfish or possessive or unwillingness to share feeling apart from family and spouse. They are my very best-friend. My partner in crime. I treasure deeply.

This pic is a proof of our craziness in our college, the room is narrow and everything is cramped. But look we’re insanely happy. Now, we’ve been apart by island, oceans and life.

Though they’re far but they’re close in heart.


We born alone. We live alone. We die alone.

Greetings. Fabulous Friday as always.

I’m still thinking in which language I should write. Wait…. Ok. Let’s try with English.

It was almost a year that I’ve been dealing with adaptation to a new status. a new life. I was always someone who self-contained in every way despite I am a woman. Should we all have that dark phase in our life I met this 2 man who is non other of my best friends. My partner in crime. I through a hard time in my college life that I never showed it to people. I always run through a male-female friendship. I do have other girlfriends too that I do treasure deeply. But I think male friends is less complicated to deal with.

We were different each other (off course, who’s not) but we have something in common. I am an introvert and so you could understand, I choose who I want to be friends with. With them I talk through hearts; I could cry just seeing their presence when I was in a very hard time. We share same craziness over billiard; I teach them :D. and we share lots of ups and downs moment. I realize there will be a time where we are grown up and going separated in our each way. I was the second to graduate (if I am not mistaken) and entering a new world, soon they are likewise. Riding our own UFO ship to alien world.

I am not so open to people until I found myself missing my old buddies and so they are. But distance, time, own private life dominates our friendship; normal. A need to be close with friends who can be your buddies is your lows and highs physically discontented. I was in a phase of no longer able to stand alone, I become dependent with the presence of my best-friends. I dislike going somewhere without a friend company. I start to miss my boys. miss my girls. too.

I was so upset of my dependency, I try to work myself out, talk to myself often. By getting older, our life circle is stuck there (unless you are someone who likes being with a lot of people; I don’t) spouse, family and best-friends. People you do treasure deeply. and by getting older you run your own life, getting busy with your own life, own family, own other-friends. So I do feel lonely.

I was lonely (physically) because I don’t do friendship things like gathering or talking in the phone for long time often. I don’ do social stuff which I hate often. But I guess that’s me, I like being introvert and physically lonely that’s the consequences I like to take. Rather than forcing myself to do that my heart don’t like to do. I treasure friends deeply and opening 24/7 call for them, so do they (I guess, I hope so). Then I come to one moment that this is life. People come and go. There’s sadness and madness but there’s also happiness and joyfulness. Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. Except destiny and death.

People change every second every minute. It means we learn to know people in every second and every minute. Learning our self, change to the better us it consumes our time, energy and life. It’s very hard to accommodate others, I wonder how great for someone who likes to interfere other people life while his or her life is no greater than us. Except off course spouse, family and best-friends. Friends can come and go as they wish, but best-friends stay in every of our way.

One asked me, “I become dependence with friends but some of them are getting far and far from me one by one. I don’t know why”

No doubt, I’ve been there. Dealing with my inside voice of how I am easily forgotten by people when I really want to make friends with them. Answering the question, I said, we born alone we live alone we die alone. We are born alone to this world from our goddess mom with their unconditional love for us. As we grow older and older, as we able to think which one is good or bad, we do everything according our own process of life. We might not always meet a pleased moment but displeased moment likewise. We meet new people, new friends and should the screening goes on. We stay with people that are compatible enough with us. Compatible to understand with. Compatible to deal with. Some of them maybe just not compatible enough for us; just don’t put tooth into it. We can’t always to pleased people, some people are worth to pleased and some are not. Some people are bring good contribution to us some are not. So we choose who we want to be with. Except family, they will always in our way. I come to one moment to be grateful with what it is in my life, including lonely attack for my dearest best-friends. and I feel serene. I have so much things to do to make myself a better person, there’s only one way to do it, you do it by yourself. Other people (family and best-friend) are only going to watch and giving a little advice. You do it by yourself. You choose by yourself (are you going with their advice or not). and you better take the consequences by yourself. We don’t have much time in this world very rare to get 100 years old so I don’t want to waste my time. I want to make me better so when I die alone that good deeds I’ve done that might help me later.

I’m not used to depend on other people but through this I’ve learn. I should not depend to other people. I might need a help from other as human is social being. I gather my mind; I am physically perfect, I can walk, I can jump, I can run. So doing nothing just because I don’t have friends to accompany me is such a big waste. I always keep a positive mind, though they are far they are near in heart, so am I likewise.

Like nothing is permanent, so is feeling, heart, belief. Sometimes they up and sometimes they down. Likewise me, keep trying!


PS: Endearment for my best-friends I treasure deeply. Love as always.

Lelucon Yang Tak Lucu.


Rabu yang cerah walaupun sakit pinggang saya belum hilang. Istirahat siang saya sedikit terusik dengan ulah teman-teman di BBM Grup saya. Kesal dan tak habis pikir.

Saya senang dengan fasilitas milik smartphone yang milik orang banyak ini. BBM Grup yang berisi teman-teman yang seharusnya menjadi tempat memperpanjang silaturahmi berujung menjadi tempat sharing foto-foto atau jokes. Saya tidak keberatan, saya senang karena bisa menjadi bahan bacaan lucu atau sekedar mengetahui aktivitas teman-teman lainnya. Sampai di satu saat mayoritas kaum laki-laki nya senang memberikan jokes tentang sex atau alat kelamin manusia (human genital).

Jokes tentang sex atau gambar-gambar tentang kelamin manusia yang mayoritas di jadikan objek tertawaan adalah wanita/perempuan/gadis. Ingat tentang gambar karst yang menyerupai alat kelamin laki-laki dan wanita, ya itu juga saya pernah liat. Saya mengagumi bagaimana proses pembentukan alam yang luar biasa tapi jika diletakkan dengan konsep yang lain gambar karst tsb bukannya jadi bahan pelajaran malah jadi bahan orang untuk tertawa dan berimajinasi. Tak ada yang salah memang, bebas pada pikiran masing-masing orang. Satu-dua gambar mulai dari wanita sexy, gambar yang membuat imajinasi justru menjadi ‘jorok’ padahal gambarnya biasa saja, sampai gambar-gambar lain yang menyerupai alat kelamin wanita.

Hal ini pernah menjadi keberatan salah satu teman yang akhirnya leave dari grup yang seharusnya jadi ajang silaturahmi.  Alih-alih membuat orang berpikir, malah menjadi alasan bahwa pembaca memang berpikiran kotor. Kali ini saya yang cukup terganggu dengan gambar durian yang di buat seolah-olah adalah alat kelamin wanita. Bagi mereka yang laki-laki itu menjadi lelucon yang sangat menyenangkan. Buat saya dari kaum perempuan hal tersebut tidak lucu. Justru adalah sebuah pelecehan.

Saya sangat menyayangkan cara laki-laki yang tidak bisa menghargai wanita. Padahal dalam kehidupan laki-laki, ada ibunda, adik, kakak, istri dan bahkan anak yang berjenis kelamin wanita. Tidak kah mereka berpikir bahwa mereka melakukan pelecehan terhadap anggota keluarga mereka juga yang wanita. Tidak ada yang salah tentang sex dan alat kelamin manusia, semua manusiawi. Tapi tidak ada yang manusiawi ketika kita menjadi terbiasa tumbuh dengan melakukan pelecehan yang justru tidak disadari.

Kalau saja ada sekolah mengelola pikiran untuk laki-laki, saya yakin akan ada perbedaan pikiran tentang sex dan alat kelamin manusia. Dengan begitu pikiran mereka yang menyandang status atau gelar tentu akan berbeda. Mbo ya sekolah harusnya menjadikan kita berpendidikan dalam bersikap dan berpikir.

Sering saya baca bahwa wanita menjadi ‘kambing hitam’ atas pikiran-pikiran nakal kaum laki-laki. Begini saja, laki-laki mungkin menikmati sesuatu yang ‘nakal’ lalu mengapa tidak istri-istrinya menjadi ‘binal dan nakal’ bagi suaminya jadi tidak perlu banyak berpikir jorok kecuali mereka memang hypersex.

“Laki-laki yang hebat adalah laki-laki yang melindungi perempuan. Melindungi itu punya arti luas.” Melindungi juga berarti menghargai dan tidak melakukan PELECEHAN melalui hal-hal yang kalian pikir adalah LELUCON.