Greetings. Fabulous Friday as always.
I’m still thinking in which language I should write. Wait…. Ok. Let’s try with English.
It was almost a year that I’ve been dealing with adaptation to a new status. a new life. I was always someone who self-contained in every way despite I am a woman. Should we all have that dark phase in our life I met this 2 man who is non other of my best friends. My partner in crime. I through a hard time in my college life that I never showed it to people. I always run through a male-female friendship. I do have other girlfriends too that I do treasure deeply. But I think male friends is less complicated to deal with.
We were different each other (off course, who’s not) but we have something in common. I am an introvert and so you could understand, I choose who I want to be friends with. With them I talk through hearts; I could cry just seeing their presence when I was in a very hard time. We share same craziness over billiard; I teach them :D. and we share lots of ups and downs moment. I realize there will be a time where we are grown up and going separated in our each way. I was the second to graduate (if I am not mistaken) and entering a new world, soon they are likewise. Riding our own UFO ship to alien world.
I am not so open to people until I found myself missing my old buddies and so they are. But distance, time, own private life dominates our friendship; normal. A need to be close with friends who can be your buddies is your lows and highs physically discontented. I was in a phase of no longer able to stand alone, I become dependent with the presence of my best-friends. I dislike going somewhere without a friend company. I start to miss my boys. miss my girls. too.
I was so upset of my dependency, I try to work myself out, talk to myself often. By getting older, our life circle is stuck there (unless you are someone who likes being with a lot of people; I don’t) spouse, family and best-friends. People you do treasure deeply. and by getting older you run your own life, getting busy with your own life, own family, own other-friends. So I do feel lonely.
I was lonely (physically) because I don’t do friendship things like gathering or talking in the phone for long time often. I don’ do social stuff which I hate often. But I guess that’s me, I like being introvert and physically lonely that’s the consequences I like to take. Rather than forcing myself to do that my heart don’t like to do. I treasure friends deeply and opening 24/7 call for them, so do they (I guess, I hope so). Then I come to one moment that this is life. People come and go. There’s sadness and madness but there’s also happiness and joyfulness. Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. Except destiny and death.
People change every second every minute. It means we learn to know people in every second and every minute. Learning our self, change to the better us it consumes our time, energy and life. It’s very hard to accommodate others, I wonder how great for someone who likes to interfere other people life while his or her life is no greater than us. Except off course spouse, family and best-friends. Friends can come and go as they wish, but best-friends stay in every of our way.
One asked me, “I become dependence with friends but some of them are getting far and far from me one by one. I don’t know why”
No doubt, I’ve been there. Dealing with my inside voice of how I am easily forgotten by people when I really want to make friends with them. Answering the question, I said, we born alone we live alone we die alone. We are born alone to this world from our goddess mom with their unconditional love for us. As we grow older and older, as we able to think which one is good or bad, we do everything according our own process of life. We might not always meet a pleased moment but displeased moment likewise. We meet new people, new friends and should the screening goes on. We stay with people that are compatible enough with us. Compatible to understand with. Compatible to deal with. Some of them maybe just not compatible enough for us; just don’t put tooth into it. We can’t always to pleased people, some people are worth to pleased and some are not. Some people are bring good contribution to us some are not. So we choose who we want to be with. Except family, they will always in our way. I come to one moment to be grateful with what it is in my life, including lonely attack for my dearest best-friends. and I feel serene. I have so much things to do to make myself a better person, there’s only one way to do it, you do it by yourself. Other people (family and best-friend) are only going to watch and giving a little advice. You do it by yourself. You choose by yourself (are you going with their advice or not). and you better take the consequences by yourself. We don’t have much time in this world very rare to get 100 years old so I don’t want to waste my time. I want to make me better so when I die alone that good deeds I’ve done that might help me later.
I’m not used to depend on other people but through this I’ve learn. I should not depend to other people. I might need a help from other as human is social being. I gather my mind; I am physically perfect, I can walk, I can jump, I can run. So doing nothing just because I don’t have friends to accompany me is such a big waste. I always keep a positive mind, though they are far they are near in heart, so am I likewise.
Like nothing is permanent, so is feeling, heart, belief. Sometimes they up and sometimes they down. Likewise me, keep trying!
PS: Endearment for my best-friends I treasure deeply. Love as always.